Crazy Or Stupid

It's your pick.

I've come up with a way to categorize every single human being into one of two nice little piles. You're either crazy or you're stupid, and that's that. The Dalai Lama and Forrest Gump are the only exceptions.

Obviously, there are nuances to each of these categories, but, essentially, you're one or the other. And, sometimes you're both (drug addicts).

I'll keep this short and simplify (for you stupid people out there). So, we'll take a look at what people can consider the opposites of these categories.

The opposite of stupid is... SMART. You guessed it (well, the stupid people didn't). But, if you're smart, the stupid people will drive you.... CRAZY. They have to. If you are truly smart, you realize that stupidity isn't good, and you're constantly reminded of this everyday when going about your daily routines. After years and years of this conditioning, it pushes you over the edge and you lose your mind. If you don't, you're too stupid.

The opposite of crazy is... SANE. Again, congrats. Good guess. If you're sane, that means you're not out killing people; you're doing what most people do, which is trying to live a nice, normal life... in the suburbs. But, you have to be so stupid to actually like this boring, complacent life. Or, you're so crazy that you hate it and do it anyway. Either way, we're back to the two categories.

I wish that I were stupid, because ignorance is bliss. Unfortunately, I'm smart, therefore I'm crazy... which is why I'm in constant search of drugs. Eventually, I'll be a drug addict.

And then I'll be BOTH.

Livin' In The Suburbs (Is Kinda Like Takin' Mushrooms)

Livin' in the suburbs
Is kinda like takin' mushrooms
You just wanna blow your...
Head off.

I got a... townhouse.
I got a... nine to five.
I got two and a half kids.
And I wonder if I will make it out alive.
'Cuz...

Livin' in the suburbs
Is kinda like takin' mushrooms
You just wanna blow your...
Head off.

I'm bored... every single day.
So, I've decided... to drink it all away.
Heavy drugs... will make it all okay.
Even if I'm a closet gay.
'Cuz...

Livin' in the suburbs
Is kinda like takin' mushrooms
You just wanna blow your...
Head off.

It's the same week, over and over.
Wake up and watch life pass me by.
It's the suburban blues that I feel.
It's enough to make me break down and cry.
'Cuz...

Livin' in the suburbs
Is kinda like takin' mushrooms
You just wanna blow your...
Head off.

No more minivans!
No more Taco Bell!
No more soccer moms!
No more life of hell!
'Cuz...

Livin' in the suburbs
Is kinda like takin' mushrooms
You just wanna blow your...
Head off.

This is one of my newest songs. I wrote it because I live in the suburbs and I'm really fucking bored. I like a fast paced, crazy life that brings me the unexpected. I don't like passing the same roadkill everyday, that I've started to give names to.

I have A LOT of hobbies. But, it still doesn't take away the fact that people in the suburbs drive 5 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. Wait... that's until you try to pass them (which is the most exciting part of their day, I suppose). Then, they'll jam on the gas and make sure that you can't pass them. It's a competition thing. I get it. You have a small penis and you're trying to make up for it. Okay. Big deal. I drive a Hybrid you douche bag.

I just need more action. And diversity. All white people in the suburbs look the same... and I'm white. I like seeing all different colors, cultures and races. It reminds me that I'm part of a bigger world, that we all have stories that landed us in a certain town or city, and that's exciting. I don't like seeing the same middle-aged asshole with his Palin sticker still on his Jeep Grand Cherokee. It's over. She lost.

My sights are set on downtown again. I gotta get down there soon. I'm going stir crazy (which is actually the name of a noodle restaurant... in the suburbs). I need to be around bums and vagrants, hookers and pimps, street hustlers and city cops, students and artists, my type of people. I need the fear. I need a challenge. I don't need to be living next to eight different families with kids named Jacob and Madison.

Just Stop

Why do these supposed pandemics cause so much fear and anxiousness?

The Swine Flu (renamed H1N1) caused Americans, nay, the world to panic like monkeys at the zoo. Vacationers to Mexico were wearing masks at the beach. Schools were closing down left and right. Extra hand washing took place. And, people stopped letting their dogs lick their faces.

This story has left the news, all accept the occasional death that happens from the Swine Flu... always in conjunction with other serious medical conditions like heart disease. And, this is exactly why I'm writing about it now.

People are idiots. Stop worrying about shit that isn't there. Stop worrying about stuff that IS, in fact, there, but will never reach YOU. Stop worrying!

Stop pissing and moaning. Stop yelling. Stop honking. Stop scowling. Stop it. Now!

Take a break, smoke a joint and relax. Because it just doesn't matter.

- Dr. Brian Wright (drugstore psychologist - cost $0)

White Lies For Dark Times, Part III (Post-Show)

Ben Harper and Relentless7 nearly brought the house down.

Except for the guy who kept on screaming "Voodoo Chile" and "Burn One Down," the show couldn't have gone any better.

I don't want to write a review form post today. I just simply want to share that if you're not a fan of Ben Harper already, then fine. You're missing out on the best new music out there. There's a reason why I get to stand two feet away from the stage at every show. He's not mainstream. No complaints here.

At the end of the two-hour show, while finishing the second encore, with "Serve Your Soul" capping the night's performance, Ben Harper let his steel just rock back and forth on top of his Asher lap steel guitar. That rocking of the steel was the best outro to any concert I've ever seen, leaving a lasting imprint of brilliance and total recognition that he's playing a show for him and us.

It's these rock moments that separate Ben Harper from the rest of the modern pack. I've seen him sing a cappella and without the mic on "Where Could I Go." I've seen him play a three and a half hour set at The Music Box in Hollywood. And, now I've seen Relentless7 welcome us into the club in the most rock way possible.

By the way, my favorite R7 song right now is "Spanish Red Wine." This is what I said about the song when I first listened to it, before the show:

"'Spanish Red Wine' is a soundtrack song. It's mood music... right now. It'll sneak up on me and end up being one of my favs. Very needed on an album like this for balance and pace."

Well, it's my favorite, by far. And, I love the rest of the songs. This song just went from 'balance and pace' to the best... and it's all because of the live performance.

So good... So good.

White Lies For Dark Times, Part II (Pre-Show)

It's been a little over a week since Ben Harper and Relentless7's debut album WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES hit the record shelves. This means I've listened to the CD around 30 times through, all in preparation for the May 16th Chicago show.

Music always changes the more you hear it. After the show, I'm sure I'll have new favorite songs and reasons to like others. In the last week or so, the music of Ben Harper and Relentless7 has graduated.

First of all, I'm biased. Ben Harper can pretty much put out any album with any 11 songs and I'll be a fan. But, I'm always critical because I have the greatest of expectations. WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES exceeded all of mine.

I call Ben Harper an artist because he keeps on improving and challenging himself. It would have been easy to stick with the Innocent Criminals (whose music I adore) and sell out mid-size venues. Part of me misses the ICs, but the wiser part of me appreciates the new music.

Like I said before, WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES is a rock album. And, it's good rock. It's not Daughtry. It's not Green Day. It's true rock 'n' roll, with attitude, conviction, a message and social and political overtones. It's the best rock album in the last five years.

Ben Harper's last album LIFELINE was his best album (before this one)... not necessarily the best single songs. But, as a whole, the songs blended together to make a listening experience. It's difficult not to listen to the entire album. WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES picked up where that album left off.

It's an experience. A rock experience. Ben Harper has always had this running theme of contradiction. He's black AND white... which makes him neither and both. He has songs called "Glory & Consequence" and "Pleasure and Pain," and he's had lyrics that reflect this contradiction, too.

In "Diamonds on the Inside," he sings "I knew a girl, her name was Truth, she was a horrible liar..." His songs are filled with these (intentional?) contradictions, much like life is. Much like BOTH SIDES OF THE GUN, WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES is another album title example of this.

This is his thesis and his alone. He owns this view on life and art, on work and music. No one that I know of does it, so no one does it better. Like I said, the whole album is brilliant, but here are the standouts to me right now:

#1) "Number With No Name" - "The very thing that drives you can drive you insane..." is a lyric in the chorus. This song is just a head-bobbing, killer song that has a great lap steel solo (best viewed/listened to live). The drums are hard and heavy on this one, too. It's a great way to start an album and a concert... even though I read that they are starting shows with a cover of Led Zepplin's "Good Times Bad Times." Does it get any better than this?

#4) "Lay There And Hate Me" - "Never trust a woman who loves the blues..." I won't Mr. Harper. This song is so funky and great. It's one of those songs like "Black Betty" where you feel like you're in a cool 70s movie or you're dealing mass quantities of drugs (like Johnny Depp in BLOW).

#7) "Fly One Time" - I want to be inspired. That's why I watch new movies (and old favorites) and listen to music. I want to find a piece of art from someone that acts as a bridge... something that shows me a sign that I'm not alone... that I'm not crazy... that there are people out there that have similar thoughts and feelings as I do... positive, strong, loving. This song is that. It's more than music. It's more than an anthem. This song was chosen on the Michael J. Fox ABC special last week about optimism. But, it's more than even that. It's truly flies.

I picked out these three songs because they are special in a next-level way. The others are fantastic and the album is dynamite, but these, right now, are songs I can hear and be transported by.

Two days to the big show at the Vic in Chi-Town. Next Thursday, I'll be back with the final WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES entry. This will be when the show has already sunk in. Whew...

White Lies For Dark Times

Ben Harper and Relentless7 realeased their debut album WHITE LIES FOR DARK TIMES on Tuesday.

Here's the playlist:

1) Number With No Name
2) Up To You Now
3) Shimmer and Shine
4) Lay There & Hate Me
5) Why Must You Always Dress In Black
6) Skin Thin
7) Fly One Time
8) Keep It Together (So I Can Fall Apart)
9) Boots Like These
10) The Word Suicide
11) Faithfully Remain

And, if you were lucky enough to pre-order the album, you got these bonus songs:

- The Word Suicide (LIVE)
- Up To You Now (LIVE)
- Eldorado
- Spanish Red Wine

A little review...

"Number With No Name" is a 70s funk John Lennon type song fused with something off the BLACK SNAKE MOAN soundtrack (the only good thing about that movie). It's a perfect start to the album.

"Up To You Now" is a challenging political/social song in the vein of Bob Marley or Bob Dylan. And, it's got one of the best bridges ever, where, in the live version, Ben Harper soars with a vocal that's just pure heart.

"Shimmer and Shine" is the single, but Ben Harper really doesn't make singles. It's the song he played on Wednesday's David Letterman show. It's pure knock out rock.

"Lay There & Hate Me" is a 70s funk song that reminds me of Al Green meets The Doors "Five to One." Unbelievable.

"Why Must You Always Dress In Black" is Johnny Cash meets Mudcrutch. It's a power, blast off song that moves.

"Skin Thin" pulls it back a little, more of a light rock song, similar to Ben Harper's greats like "Amen Omen" and "She's Only Happy In The Sun." Beautiful.

""Fly One Time" is the most inspiring song of the year.

"Keep It Together (So I Can Fall Apart)" is Jimi Hendrix in the best possible way. The guitar solo is amazing.

"Boots Like These" is a fun, party song.

"The Word Suicide" is one of those songs that hits you on so many levels and changes every time you hear it. Brilliant.

"Faithfully Remain" is another softer rock song that's perfect for the one you love.

"Eldorado" is an instrumental much like his previous "#3" and "Paris Sunset #7." He's just showing off at this point.

"Spanish Red Wine" is a soundtrack song. It's mood music... right now. It'll sneak up on me and end up being one of my favs. Very needed on an album like this for balance and pace.

I compare Ben Harper to these other greats like Jimi Hendrix, Bob Marley, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty and The Beatles not to say that he rips them off. No way. Not in a million years. He's in a category of his own. These other guys are just my other favorites, and it's what I have to pull from. It's what I know.

I think Ben Harper and Relentless7 is a natural progression from the great rock bands. Let's face it. Rock has gone downhill in the last ten years or so. Accept for the new releases by the bands above, there's not many new rock bands that are really great.

Then came Ben Harper. When he's playing with the Innocent Criminals, it's pure brilliance. But, when he plays with Relentless7, it's pure rock.

Run out as fast as you can and buy the new album. And, go to the shows. But, save me a space by the stage.

Life Before Livelihood

Yesterday, President Obama hit the 100 day benchmark in office. Established in the Roosevelt era, this number seems a bit arbitrary now. Why not 101? Why not 200? Or 30? I'll tell you why... Americans like round numbers. And, most of the time, we don't question things like this. We just roll with the punches.

In his news conference, he talked a bit about torture, the economic state, the car companies... But, from this question-and-answer session, I thought of what the most important things are to Americans and to citizens of this world. I consider myself a citizen of this world first, then an American. Being an American just means I am very lucky, and I start life with a ten step lead.

Life before livelihood. What does this mean? It's a way to measure all things important in this world. It's a theory on living and how to live. It's a projection of what capable greatness governments and people can have. And, it's a message that we need some real fundamental change.

Life. Life is people. The issues of life start with something like the catastrophic events and human rights violations unfolding in places like Darfur. Life involves the child sex slaves in Cambodia. Life involves 18 or 19-year-old American soldiers (or 10-year-old child soldiers in DRC) in vast deserts. Life is food. Life is usually literal, like the eroding environment that will lead to the death of EVERYONE. These issues should take precedent over livelihood issues.

So, what is livelihood? Livelihood is cars, movies, cell phones, clothes, etc, all of which I enjoy and sometimes think I can't live without. These are the bonuses of life... in a country that can afford it. But, these things aren't essential to life. These things only make life more interesting and provide conversation points, but they don't add up to a hill a beans if you look through the proper prism.

I saw a Charles Schwab commercial yesterday. It was one of those directed by Richard Linklater. You know... the cartoons that are actually real people. In it, a businesswomen looks like she's taking questions from an interviewer. And, she says, "I can't even look at my portfolio..." I couldn't believe it. Her life is so bad. Boo hoo. Poor lady. It's unimaginable that she lost money on stupid investments. These are the problems of middle class Americans.

I realize that the economic situation is bad. People losing jobs is never good. We need money to make the wheels go 'round. Okay. I get it. But, the businesswomen's statement forced me to look at this whole thing with some realistic perspective. If you live in America, you'll never really be poor. Not REALLY poor... although some NOLA victims will disagree. To compare poverty in America to, say, Africa, let's do a little experiment and what if.

Let's say I live in Detroit. I lose my job at the automobile plant. I run out of money. I lose my home, my car, my items. I'm homeless. It's cold outside and I have no food or money. That's about as bad as it gets in America. Agreed? Okay. That's scenario #1.

The next situation is this: I live in Darfur. I'm an IDP (internally displaced person), which means that I used to be a farmer in the northeast region of Sudan, but I've been driven off my land and forced to live in a camp that offers some protection through sheer numbers. It's hot outside and I have no food or money. Bad. Agreed? Okay.

Here's the difference. In America, if I'm homeless, I have options. I could always go into the local grocery store and steal food. In Darfur, THERE ARE NO GROCERY STORES. In America, I could always commit a crime and get caught, ending up in jail with food and shelter. In Darfur, if I do something to offend the local authorities, they'll probably just rape my family, burn my body and throw it in the well, poisoning the water for my entire community.

I'm not trying to dismiss the problems American's have. But, I don't understand when someone doesn't think that we are part of a global community. We're so willing to slap hands at a football game with someone who happens to live in the same city as us. But, we can't extend a hand to people in dire need? Why is there such a disconnect?

Life before livelihood. We need to solve these life problems now. That way, we can deal with livelihood problems (which are real and painful and horrible, too - I know). So, let's do it. Let's get these things taken care of:

- Human Rights for all
- Safety and Protection for all
- No Unnecessary War
- Environment
- Health Care & Prevention

... so we can worry about things like:

- Stock Market
- Corporate Raiders
- The party next Saturday

On a livelihood note: For those who don't know, Manny Pacquiao is fighting Ricky Hatton on Saturday. This will be an amazing fight between two warriors. I pick Pacquiao to WIN in a decision. But, I think he wins Rounds 6-12 pretty handily. Enjoy!