I love trivia. Sometimes I'll just grab a stack of Trivial Pursuit cards and quiz myself. And, since it's heavy into politics season, I figured I'd try to stump some of you about the two candidates and their running mates. Please send your answers via email. Remember - There's only one answer per question. I'll post the correct answers before next week's column. As the brilliant Heath Ledger as The Joker said, "Here... we... go!"
QUESTION 1:
Which candidate is FOR off-shore oil drilling?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) Who gives a shit? Off-shore drilling for oil is like a drug addict saying "I'm quitting drugs... after I finish the drugs I've got."
d) All of the above
QUESTION 2:
Which candidate actually has a plan to stop the genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) Most well-to-do Americans don't really care about poor people, especially if they're of a different skin tone.
d) None of the above
QUESTION 3:
Match the candidate and running mate with their religion:
Barack Obama
Joe Biden
John McCain
Sarah Palin
a) Episcopal
b) United Church Of Christ
c) Non-denominational Christian
d) Roman Catholic
QUESTION 4:
Which presidential candidate vows to stay in Iraq another "100 years" if necessary?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) It doesn't matter. Everyone knows that we'll have to live on Mars or Moon colonies in 50 years because we've made it almost impossible to live on earth because of pollution, declining resources and general stupidity.
d) None of the above
QUESTION 5:
Who's the crazier Vice Presidential candidate?
a) Joe Biden
b) Sarah Palin
c) Neither is crazy
d) They're equally crazy
QUESTION 6:
Which candidate "supports tough, direct presidential diplomacy with Iran without preconditions?"
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) Direct diplomacy without precondition? You mean talking to people instead of shoving a bomb up their arse? No way! We can't have that! That's insane!
d) None of the above
QUESTION 7:
Which candidate is FOR war with smaller countries that no one's really heard of just to exercise our power and push around the little guy a bit?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) All of the above
d) None of the above
QUESTION 8:
Which Vice Presidential candidate used Heart's song "Barracuda" as his/her speech introduction music? Note: Although all rights to use the song were paid for and properly commissioned, the band did NOT want the music used.
a) Joe Biden
b) Sarah Palin
c) Both
c) None of the above
QUESTION 9:
Which candidate has better hair?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) Who cares? Great hair isn't a mark of a great president nor does it offer any indication as to who will be elected... or does it? W, Clinton, Bush1, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy, Eisen... DOH!
d) None of the above
QUESTION 10:
Who will you vote for in the upcoming United States Presidential Election?
a) Barack Obama
b) John McCain
c) Ralph Nader
d) Bob Barr
e) Write-In vote
f) Why vote? The corporations own this country which makes my vote not count.
g) None of the above
Please send in your answers as soon as possible so I can tally them and send CNN the results. Thank you. And, I'll leave you with a final thought. I showed the following to a friend of mine already, but I thought it would fit this column.
If the great Muhammad Ali was a young man during this election, and if he was asked who he was going to vote for, he'd say something like this:
You and yo' mama
Better vote for Obama
'Cause you'd be insane
To vote for McCain!
