Just in case you're wondering what the correct answers are:
QUESTION 1:
Which candidate is FOR off-shore oil drilling?
d) All of the above
Unfortunately, both candidates support off-shore oil drilling. As Americans, we're addicted to a lot of things: fast food, coffee, cigarettes, meth... and oil. When are we going to collectively realize that using oil to fuel vehicles is just about the dumbest thing possible and not in our interest?
QUESTION 2:
Which candidate actually has a plan to stop the genocide in the Darfur region of Sudan?
a) Barack Obama
This is one of the most important topics in the world. Ask Bill Clinton what he regrets from his eight years in office. The first thing he'll tell you is that he didn't step in early enough in Rwanda. Eventually, the international community helped stop the genocide there, and look at Rwanda today - it's thriving. Rwanda should be used as the model for African nations in civil war and unrest. Sudan needs international help, and Barack's got an answer.
QUESTION 3:
Match the candidate and running mate with their religion:
Barack Obama - b) United Church Of Christ
Joe Biden - d) Roman Catholic
John McCain - a) Episcopal
Sarah Palin - c) Non-denominational Christian
Interesting...
QUESTION 4:
Which presidential candidate vows to stay in Iraq another "100 years" if necessary?
b) John McCain
Why not make it 100,000 years? Doesn't he know that we can't keep paying them to not attack us? Oops... I mean... the Surge won't work forever.
QUESTION 5:
Who's the crazier Vice Presidential candidate?
b) Sarah Palin
Not only is she crazier, she's dumber. She believes she has foreign policy experience because she can see Russia from her front porch. That's crazy, stupid, and down right scary.
QUESTION 6:
Which candidate "supports tough, direct presidential diplomacy with Iran without preconditions?"
a) Barack Obama
His idea, I think, is to find a common ground, and try and make peace in the Middle East in one of the most important and powerful countries there. Pretty smart.
QUESTION 7:
Which candidate is FOR war with smaller countries that no one's really heard of just to exercise our power and push around the little guy a bit?
d) None of the above
This one was sort of a trick question. Obviously, neither candidate is for war with smaller countries just to exercise our power and push around the little guy... that would be bullying. These two men are a lot of things, but bullies they are not. They are both decent men. One is more decent than the other, but...
QUESTION 8:
Which Vice Presidential candidate used Heart's song "Barracuda" as his/her speech introduction music? Note: Although all rights to use the song were paid for and properly commissioned, the band did NOT want the music used.
b) Sarah Palin
Sarah Barracuda. Yeah, that's right. That's one of her nicknames. I prefer PALIN COMPARISON.
QUESTION 9:
Which candidate has better hair?
a) Barack Obama
It's thick and seemingly healthy. And, he's handsome, too. It's not that important for the presidency, but it's nice to look at a face that doesn't remind you off a baboon's ass.
QUESTION 10:
Who will you vote for in the upcoming United States Presidential Election?
That's the question of the year. Who will you vote for? Hopefully, you'll vote for the ticket whose policies you agree with and who you think will be better for you, your family and the country. If you are voting for a candidate because you'd rather have a beer with them, or because they are the same gender as you, or the same race as you, then you're missing the whole point of this election. But, I'll remind you...
You and yo' mama
Better vote for Obama
'Cause you'd be insane
To vote for McCain
...or something like that. :)
