Today's post will be a short, light read.
I have an issue to take up with The Creator of All Things. What popped into your head when you invented the skunk? Were you pissed off at something? Did you eat buffalo wings for lunch that day and rip a hole through your toga? What's the story?
I understand it's a defense mechanism, sure. A porcupine is another small animal with a stellar defense. But, you don't see an angered porcupine shooting quills all over the place, willy nilly.
Couldn't you have made the skunk's spray at least go away after a couple of minutes? The skunk could still scurry to safety after it squirted the bear in the nose. Does the stink have to stay THAT long? Like a week long...
It seems like every day, I'm driving with the windows down, enjoying the nice spring day when... AWWWW! MAN! A skunk! And, how in the hell does the skunk have enough juice to make a whole county smell? Can't it be limited to a square mile radius? Does it really have to be potent enough to spread across state lines?
What animal is the skunk's natural predator in Kane County, Illinois? The deer? Is there something we don't know about deers? Are they actually carnivores? Who are these skunks hitting?
And, if you gave them this power, why did you make them so stupid? Skunks don't really learn their lesson. They see that their cousin got run over by a Toyota yesterday... but, he comes right up to the road, and decides "It's all clear. I can make it across. Every single one of my family members has been run over releasing our little pouch of stench into the air, but I think I'll be the one. I'll make it."
And to the drivers... when you see a skunk crossing the road, SWIRVE. Or, stop. Let the little bugger cross. He's obviously in a hurry. And, you know how you tell that it's a skunk? It's looks like a SKUNK! It's black and white. It's not a possum. Possums look like Alec Baldwin in BEETLEJUICE when he pushes his hand into the back of his head. Skunks look like skunks.
That's it. If I could get an answer soon, that would be fantastic. Thanks.
